After just about two and a half years of marriage Jeremiah and I just had our first true wretched cooking experience. Ugh, it was TERRIBLE.We meant well. In fact, we meant really well. After church we drove as fast as we could to our dream everyday grocery store, Fresh Market. While at this piece of heaven on earth we picked up two gourmet burgers, which the woman in front of us told us were out of this world. One blue cheese and one bbq cheddar. Delish. We also grabbed a few colorful vegetables. (Oh, and my wonderful husband snuck over to get me a mini cannoli, too!) You may be thinking to yourself, hmm these sound like perfect foods to grill. Well, you're right, they are... in theory.
You see, at our apartment, we're technically not allowed to have a grill nor will we be able to at our new condo. I however, cannot settle for something that I can't have. Mom, sound familiar? So, while reading through the latest Crate & Barrel catalog, I stumbled upon what I thought would be a miracle cure to this problem. A lime green Smokey Joe Weber grill. I know, I know. We're not allowed to have a grill. But what harm could this itsy bitsy teeny weeny "grill" do? Harmless I say.
Well tonight proved that even a lime green apartment-sized grill can't fix all of life's problems. Now, it could be that Jeremiah only put a mere 14 coals in the bottom, or it could be God's way of laughing in our faces for participating in illegal activity. But either way, what seemed to be a fantasy grill meal quickly became the biggest bust in history. The veggies barely steamed to a just-slightly-soggier-than-raw consistency, at which point we tried to redeem them in the oven. The burgers then slid on the grate without a sizzle or a puff of smoke, at which point we tried to redeem them with a cast iron skilled on the stove. Let's just say, we found no hint of the gospel in any part of the meal. (No redemption, get it?) The only thing we gained from this experience was an apartment filled to capacity with thick smoke that I was sure would set even our packing-tape-covered smoke alarms off. Whoops, more illegality. You'd think with the microwave exhaust, the ceiling fan, and the bathroom vent all on high, plus me throwing the front door opened and closed, the smoke would dissipate. Let's just say, I'm still inhaling the gray stuff almost an hour later.
Jeremiah and I have a joke when we try a new meal that if it's gross, "there's always McDonald's." Well, tonight McDonald's couldn't even help our desperate situation. Instead, I feasted on a crabcake appetizer from The Grill at Waterford and Jeremiah is stuffing down some beef lo mein from our local China Wong. Now that I think about it, perhaps he knew all along what he was doing with that little grouping of charcoal. He's been craving China Wong for days.
