"It'll Rattle Your Teeth"

Gunnar wasn't lying when he described our fire alarm system. Tonight I had the unfortunate experience of hearing that God-forsaken alarm a bit after 9pm, after I had just woken from my hour-long nap on the sofa (the same hour I was supposed to be at the gym). My first thought was that it was only coming from my condo and perhaps just a minor offense--the smoke alarm. And then the rattling set in. The unbearable, ear-piercing, scratchy, high-pitched ringing. Ungodly. I quickly made the unsafe choice to put on my shoes and a fleece, grab my phone, and then lastly run to get my purse. I figured if this place was going down I at least needed my wallet. But thank the good lord I had the piece of mind to grab my coat. Little did I know I would be standing outside in the freezing temps for about 45 minutes. Flurries are in the forecast for tonight, fyi. Once in the hallway, I covered my ears and sprinted out of the building. I was the only one out there and was wondering why in the world no one was coming out with this horrific noise. Then I remembered 99% of our neighbors are senior citizens, and sure enough slowly but surely they came out of the woodwork.

Were fire and rescue automatically called? Should I call 911? I've never been in this type of emergency, ahhh! First, I called Jeremiah, who was happily enjoying beverages with friends at a ghetto Irish pub across the river. Shockingly enough, he didn't pick up. A couple minutes later he texted me telling me his eta, as if at that moment I cared that he was still staying out for a half hour before he'd drive home. Next, I called good ol' Gunnar, and once again a voicemail. And as my neighbors trickled out and no one knew what to do, I called 911. My first 911 call ever. Upon connecting with the dispatcher, I soon realized the alarms were going off in another building and the clubhouse as well.

The firemen seemed to take their time getting there. It took I'd say at least 5 minutes before anyone showed up. Finally one truck and two police cars came, but instead of checking out the scene at our building, they went straight for the other victims. We waited. And waited some more. And then our alarm went off, while the other's did not. So we continued waiting because Gloria mentioned we needed an all clear in order to re-enter.

But once I came down with acute hypothermia I decided to take matters into my own hands and walk over with another new friend, Debbie, to see what the heck was going on. The police officers seemed clueless and told us we could ask one of the firemen. Excuse me?! Shouldn't they be checking on things and figuring out what's going on instead of shooting the breeze in their bullet-proof vests? Fortunately, one fireman walked out and Debbie and I hesitantly followed him to the truck. He seemed clueless that our alarm had even gone off. He told us we might want to stay outside for a few minutes. What??? What does that mean. Is someone coming by? Have I just somehow acquired enhanced fire safety knowledge that would enable me to make such decisions? Debster and I walked back to our condo and continued waiting with the little old ladies in their housecoats. One couple eventually couldn't take it anymore and drove their car to ground zero to get some answers. He came back and told us we could go in and someone would be by. About 5 minutes ago I heard the fire truck zoom past and things must look fine because they kept a consistent 45mph past our unit.

Come to find out this was all just a glitch in the system. A glitch that has the sprinklers still going off in the other building. If the sprinklers went off here (and I'm convinced with my luck they probably will later tonight) I would cry like a baby. How awful.

So come tomorrow I wouldn't want to be Gunnar, Charter Colony, or Chesterfield County Fire & Rescue. I think each of these parties will be receiving their fair share of complaints from some less-than-satisfied homeowners. I mean, what if there really was a fire in our condo? I'm not convinced it would ever get put out. I'll start praying for rain if fire ever does strike.

But now let's not be a Negative Nancy, Brianna. It's one way to get acquainted with new neightbors!

Welcome to your new home!